Unlawful Entry

This article is not to debate whether illegal immigration is right or wrong. Unless you are a bleeding-heart liberal hopefully you can obviously see the negative impact illegal immigration has on all of us (at least those that pay their taxes).


In case you are unsure however, let me share these stats with you I came across the other day:

- In your working lifetime you will spend just over $90,000 out of your paycheck to pay for services granted to illegal immigrants.

- If you take that same $90,000 and put it in an AVERAGE investment, it will increase to $600,000 during that same period. This is money that you could have put away for your kids college or retirement.

If you still can't make up your mind, migrate south of the border and do both countries a favor.

Writing an obituary for the more than half million I lost,

"The Bear"

The Feminist Dilemma

This story is an addition to the article recently posted on Deadspin.

For those of you who don't know the story apparently (according to Deadspin) the woman on the far left, Danika Schroeter, finished in second place to the one in the middle, Michelle Dumaresq, in the Canadian downhill mountain biking championships. Dumaresq is also the three time defending champion.

So who really cares, right? Well, I did leave out one piece of information... Michelle Dumaresq was formerly a man (and not in the "previous life" way either). This frustration led to the tasteless t-shirt that Danika Schroeter's boyfriend made for her that she is wearing in the photo. The shirt provoked the audience to join in with derogatory remarks and finally to Schroeter's three month suspension by the Canadian Cycling Association for such a classless act.

But here is what I was wondering... What would a feminist think? I know, I don't really care either but it is always humorous to think of them speechless and I may have such a situation here.

In defense of Dumaresq: I figured they might say that despite her previous manhood, she is now a woman (I figure post-op) and should be able to have the rights of all women. They might add that Dumaresq has now reached the peak of enlightenment becoming the "better sex" and should be able to be who she wants without any discrimination or ridicule. And for good measure they hopefully would add (if not for my humor alone), "She is Dumaresq, hear her roar!"

But then there would be Dumaresq's opponents as well. Their argument would be easy also: Dumaresq has been, still is, and always will be a man (despite the depth of the current circumcision). They could point out that Dumaresq is just another example of a man trying to infringe on woman's rights and take over their lives. And don't forget that they would probably even call Dumaresq a pervert, probably having the operation just to get closer to women.

So I can see this argument shaping up. I really think Fox should have this as a debate opposite "Desperate Housewives" and see which gets more ratings. I am sure we could find feminists who support each side, and don't forget, the bowl of popcorn to make it a true theatrical performance. And while they are at it they could answer another age old question that plagues me to this very day: If a man talks in the woods, and there isn't a feminist around to hear him, is he still wrong? Especially if this man is now a woman...

Not sure exactly how pure but I am 100% man,

"The Bear"

Polygamy is not a shape

So I heard that they caught Warren Steed Jeffs, that sicko polygamist on the FBI's 10 Most Wanted list. The guy is supposed to have something like 10,000 followers. I have heard stories about this guy and honestly he disturbs me as much as John Mark Karr. I hope he gets put away for a long time. The only problem is that I don't know if his cell-mate will want to share him so he might have to settle down and be a one inmate kind of man.

Here's to Karma,

"The Bear"

The Tea Party is Over...

Despite my Redsox falling ever so deeply out of contention there is still a light at the end of the tunnel. And no matter how dark things ever seem this light will be there to guide all of us along the path. That light: Knowing that the Yankees have, do, and always will suck. For those of us Redsox fans out there still hanging on to hope, I feel for you but I do have to officially call the time of death for Boston as yesterday when David Ortiz left the team with an irregular heartbeat. Hopefully though, these pictures can bring comfort and the reminder that regardless of the record or payroll, the will always Yankees suck!


"Derek! I just can't hide my feelings any longer. I need to tell you something!"




Even Hillary Clinton is a Yankees fan. Just like a liberal to sway with whatever direction the wind is blowing!




And who could forget this popular movie? "Don't ask, Don't tell, Don't Investigate," right A-Rod?




Rumor has it that this started because A-Rod accused the Boston pitchers of throwing at him to which Varitek responded, "We don't throw at .260 hitters." OUCH! That has got to sting. By the way, how is NY working out for you A-Rod?




One of the greatest throws that Pedro ever had in a Redsox uniform.


Singing "throw.." um, i mean "blow the man down" in my head,

"The Bear"

If you don't have this, nothing else matters...

The story below is why we here at Boomer Bear love Charlie Weis. It is the immortal story of "pass right." It is hard not to watch this without it bringing up any emotion (unless of course, you are a liberal). This story truly speaks to Weis' character and after all, if you don't have this, nothing else matters.



Update: This story took place this past year. The mother in this story was apparently also sick but kept it from her son so he wouldn't worry. She also passed away recently as well.

What? These aren't tears. I uh.... have allergies,

"The Bear"

The Life and Times of T.O.

Surely we could never forget that blasphemous day in Dallas....



Well, at least payback sucks...



So what do you really think of yourself being a complete idiot?



Well, despite the blasphemy, T.O. has been born again!



What? Fooled Again?



If you have a problem with this post, all I gotta say is "NC,"

"The Bear"

It just keeps getting more dramatic!

I am sure you have heard by now about the Cowboys chump-change fine on Terrell Owens for missing the team meeting and rehab assignment. “It’s about time they started doing something,” I told former Southern Miss football player and one of Boomer Bear’s insiders. “Yeah,” he replied. And then the conversation took an unexpected turn, one that the Cowboys themselves most likely are not aware of. Below is an excerpt of that conversation:


Insider: I know how he probably hurt his hamstring in the first place

The Bear: How?

Insider: I was working out late one night about 2-3 days before they started mini camp and he and one of his buddies were in the gym playing basketball and I saw them

The Bear: Where?

Insider: 24 HR off of Royal and 75 (Dallas, TX)

The Bear: Hmmmm…

Insider: I’m sure there is a stipulation in his contract that would void it all together if he did stupid stuff like that

The Bear: Are you sure it was him? Why didn’t you go talk to him?

Insider: Hell Yes! I’m sure it was him. There aren’t too many 6-3 or 6-4 RIPPED black dudes that walk into 24 with a posse.

The Bear: Did you see him get hurt?

Insider: He had a Cowboys hat on pulled down low to try and hide his face a little. No, he wasn’t hurt or anything. He was walking a little gimpy when he left though.

The Bear: Why didn’t you to talk to him?

Insider: I looked him right in the eye. I didn’t say anything, but I looked at him in a way that I let him know I knew who he was. He's too much of a prick. If I had said “hey, what up?” he would have kept on walking. I was gonna wait till he walked outside and see what he was driving to totally confirm but I didn’t.

The Bear: But you are say 50% sure it was him? 60%? 100%?

Insider: A full 100%

The Bear: Good enough for me

Insider: No doubts what so ever


That’s right folks. It seems like Mr. Owens hurt himself in the hopes of hoop dreams. That definitely would explain why he showed up to camp hurt and couldn’t play from the onset. I wonder if that is why he missed “optional workouts” with the team earlier this summer. He claimed he wanted to “work out with his people” but I don’t think the Cowboy’s realized that meant shooting hoops with his gang. And yes, I am pretty sure that injury could void out his contract and let the Cowboys move forward with still a great team. As I am sure this thing will keep getting bigger and blowing way the hell up, stay tuned for scenes….

I’m out. T.O. is meeting us all at the playground to play “smear the queer,”

“The Bear”

Wake Up The Echoes

The dynasty is on its way back over the next few years for the IRISH.. but as for now we will just have to settle for the 2006 National Champs! And not to take anything away from Dairy Queen but this is "BQ Country"... Enjoy the show!

Sending a "volley cheer on high,"

"The Bear"

T.O. play or not T.O. play? That is the Question!

So I admit it. I was wrong. I am sorry. Will you forgive me?

Yes I know, to the readers of my previous post on Terrell Owens, I take it all back. I was suckered into all the hype and the "this time will be different" speech. And maybe this time would be different, if T.O. would get his ass off the exercise bike and back out on the practice field. Of course, to get "back out there" I guess he would have had to be there to begin with.

Let’s start with the facts (and keep in mind we are still only half-way through the pre-season):

1 - Terrell skipped optional but "highly encouraged" workouts with the team and chose to work out with his own people. A move that has left him "injured" and not in football shape.

2 - Terrell made an ass out of himself, made his coach so furious he took off in the opposite direction, and his teammates very bitter about his Discovery Channel biking show-off day.

3 - I really do think Drew Rosenhaus is Satan.

4 - This will be Bill Parcells last year because of Terrell Owens and how Jerry Jones forced him on the team. Remember, Parcells has said himself that if he can't "shop for the groceries but has to cook" he is out. And he will be. I just wonder if he will make it through the season. I also hope they stay away from Weis as his replacement because he has such a good thing going at Notre Dame. Maybe Jones can bring Bob Stoops to the pros.

5 - Opening day this season will belong to Drew Bledsoe but all of '07 Tony Romo will be the starter.

After carefully considering the above, and realizing that the battle between T.O. and Parcells is about as fruitful as the war in Vietnam, I am just hiding in my bunker waiting for the real fireworks to start. Remember everyone, this is STILL pre-season of this first year in Dallas! It actually makes you miss the Cowboys SuperBowl winning teams of the early 90's who at least practiced and scored on the field (even if they did have a higher scoring percentage off it - enter drugs and women).

And Terrell, shut the hell up about your "hammy" and get back on the field! Until that happens (not holding my breath), maybe the Cowboys should cut Owens and bring in the receiving core from The Replacements. Or if we can't do that lets at least sit Bledsoe in favor of Shane Falco. He is more mobile and has a hellava lot more heart. Remember Gene Hackman's "We need heart" quote. It's quite relevant here. Maybe Falco could even remind T.O. of that life-giving principle that all athletes should live and abide by: "Pain heals, Chicks dig scars... Glory lasts for ever!" And if these Cowboys are planning on being like the SuperBowl winning Cowboys of the early 90's, I am sure they won't mind winning over the ladies. Until then, God help us all!

Off to create my own NCAA '07 College Football "glory" on the PS2 (I play through injuries all the time on that..),

"The Bear"

Louisiana or BUSt

"Ah ha, hush that fuss
Everybody move to the back of the bus
Do you wanna bump and slump with us
We the type of people make the club get crunk"

OutKast's Rosa Parks rolls through my mind as I write this. A great song, and even greater problem if you a certain Louisiana school's Superintendent, Kay Easley.

According to reports on Fox News, "when school started this month, the white [bus]driver told them she had assigned [the school children] seats, with the black children at the back of the bus. "The [nine] black students [were moved] to two seats in the back of the bus, an arrangement that had some of the smaller children sitting in the laps of older children."

Now call me crazy but shouldn't we be a bit past this in our history? Did anyone forget that "all men were created equal?" And for those who are not past it, you would think they would be at least a little less blatant about it. I am someone who hates when the race card is used most of the time, usually because it is over-used, but in this instance Kay Easley better send this bus driver to the back of the unemployment line. Everyone get your keys out and start shaking them like college football season is in full swing cause it's time for this driver to start up the bus and get the hell out of town.

Another great story from the state that brought you the "elegant" Britney Spears and the irritating and annoying Onepeat.com!

I have a dream that one day Louisiana will be sold back to the French,

"The Bear"

Breaking News: Scientists decide Nascar's no longer a sport

After many arguments and debates, southern scientists meeting yesterday in Arkansas determined that Nascar is no longer an actual sport and stripped it of its "sports" status. Nascar came under a great debate of "sporthood" after people were trying to add other activities as un-athletic as Nascar (such as bowling, table-tennis, and the WNBA) to the list of current sports. "This has been a debate for quite a while but in the end we decided that if Pluto can be removed as a planet because it is insignificant, then Nascar should be removed as a sport because people with more than 2 degrees separation from the south don't care about it," Professor Plum said. "When it comes down to it" the professor added, "driving really fast in circles doesn't mean you are talented but just lost or drunk. We never should have ever made it a sport in the first place. If we could do it all over again, we definitely wouldn't have even considered it."

Opponents of the downgrade include TP-PETA (Trailer Park - People for the Ethical Treatment of Alabaman's) and their National Chairman (or Chairwoman if you are into that whole PC thing) Tonya Harding. "We are outraged at this new development," says Harding. "Nascar is as much as a sport to us as golf is to the upper-class." Unfortunately for Harding, she didn't realize that the scientists never actually considered golf a sport (sorry, Tiger) and therefore her point was irrelevant.


Nascar's origins came from a postgame tail-gate party back in the day. After an Alabama-Auburn game, the locals who had too much to drink, decided that if they got in cars and drove real fast it would take away the sting of another tie game (There are 2 things to note here: 1) Yes boys and girls, back when I grew up they had no overtimes in college football so games actually ended in a tie... 2) Since a tie game is like "kissing your sister" one would assume that Alabama-Auburn fans would be excited that they both get to go home winners!). But just to add a little more excitement to that kiss, they decided to race around and the winner's team could claim victory for that year (I think the race was from the Ol' Johnson's outhouse to the Gretchen's Family Store. First one to touch the spittoon won).

After reviewing these findings (and the Alabama-Auburn tailgate picture posted above), scientists wondered what the hell they were thinking in the first place naming Nascar a sport and immediately reversed their decision. The ruling is expected to be appealed in the local court house (I think it's the one with the confederate flag over it) sometime early next year. Stay tuned for the latest on this breaking development.

Is Danica Patrick the Vice-Chairman to Tonya Harding? Just Curious,

"The Bear"