From "Steroid Darr-oid" to "Steroid Barr-oid"

I remember it like it was yesterday. And while aging does play against my mind in this case it actually was. A subject that seems to be on the tip of everyone's tongue, that just never dies, was once again brought to my attention. It was of course, Barry Bonds. And while everyone was shooting off their hot opinions on the matter my mind took me back to a day when everything seemed so much simpler, my freshman year of high school.

I was a boy learning to play a man's game: football. And with the season coming to an end I felt my stock had risen enormously and I was ready to break out into something great. And I knew the way I was going to get there: The Off-Season.

I remember walking around the weight room at school trying to figure out the best way to bulk up and increase my potential when a certain senior decided to take me under his wing. He offered (for a moderate fee, enter dad's wallet) to be my personal trainer and handle all my workouts, diets, and supplements. He would write my weight routines, teach me conditioning exercises and even sit me down with books and tell me what pills I needed to order and why. Then I would give him a check and a few weeks later my ship would arrive. At the time it sounded like a great idea. I mean, after all I was going to be built up into stardom. The "buck-twenty" boy soaking wet would be gone and in his place would be, well, me. But a bigger, stronger, faster me. One that would command the respect of everyone around him. At least that is what I thought.

Rumor around the school was that this individual had been injured during football and was getting a little "extra help" getting back on his feet. He had apparently almost doubled in muscle and wasn't recognizable anymore. Was this true? I don't know and I really don't want to. But he was given the name "Steroid Darroid" and myself, well, nobody called me anything to my face but I do remember people cracking jokes about the supplements they saw "Darroid" giving me and commenting on how I too must be involved. For the record, I wasn't taking steroids (or at least that is what I have told the BALCO Grand Jury investigators) but if I was let's just say those who were making the jokes would have been "convinced" to find something else to joke about.

I ended up transferring schools and never got to finish my program with "Darroid" but I often wonder if he had been on "the juice" and offered me any, what I would have said. It's easy to say I would have rejected them but I had the dream of being the next "Rudy" and stepping on the football field one day for the IRISH. And I wonder if by taking those pills I would have been guaranteed a scholarship what road I would have taken. And the honest answer is, I don't know.

Enter Barry Bonds or "Steroid Barr-oid" if you will.

The question brought up was "Who is Barry Bonds?". Is he the quiet, honest, hard-working individual who keeps to himself and proudly displays his cross or is he the raging, hateful man that wants nothing to do with anyone. And honestly, either way, why do we really care so much?

After hearing last night there is now an investigation on whether he lied to the grand jury I realized that this subject may never die. At the same time you have baseball investigating him as well as others who may have previously taken steroids. Seriously? I mean wouldn't it be easier for them to investigate the players in the recent era who have never taken steroids than the ones who have? I think that would be easier to obtain and a much, much shorter list. After they finish that impossible task maybe they should try to do an investigation into all the NBA players who have committed adultery in the past. Better yet, take those two lists to Vegas and sell it to the odds-makers so they can do an "over-under". Some serious money could be made!

So baseball, I have a solution for you. Move On! "Let Barry be Barry" and let Pete Rose back in the hall and the game. The past is the past and you played your part in the lack of control over it. Just like a parent who doesn't discipline their kids and allows them to run wild and then wonders why they are so badly behaved is baseball officials with their recent past. And you want to reach over and slap both of them when they come to you saying they don't understand how things are going so badly.

The game became the "steroid era" and most players felt they had to do it or they would be forced out of their careers by the ones who were starting to use. Most of these guys had families to support and made a sacrifice to take steroids because if they didn't some 22 year old fresh from the minors with a hot bat and an even sharper needle would put them out on the street. So they did what they felt they had to do to be successful and support their families. Do I condone it? No! But I want to be realistic about it. The sad and yet scary thing is that the Rangers also were part of that era yet still were terrible (although there were those 3 years in the late 90's that the Rangers did win their division but according to Palmeiro that is because Miguel Tejada was supplying the team with free Vitamin B shots). I applaud Mike Schmidt's honesty (one of the greatest players of the 70's and 80's) when he said "let me go out on a limb and say that if I had played during that era I would have taken steroids." And I believe most players either openly or in secret believe the same thing.

Baseball's future is bright as long as they go towards that light and don't wander off into the darkness. And things are back to the way they should be, back to normal. The Red Sox are winning again, the Rangers are losing again, and the Yankees are still spending millions of dollars for mediocrity. Life is good. And for the record, I haven't seen "Darr-oid" since high school but I heard not to long ago he was the personal trainer for some guys I have never heard of named Jason Giambi and Gary Sheffield.

Always juicy but still not "juiced,"

"The Bear"

There is no "T.O." in TEAM but there is in TOMB

So I keep pinching myself. Crap, that actually really hurts. Just a step up from getting your arm hair caught in the band of your watch. Anyways, I digress... T.O. is coming to "Big D."

"Get yo popcorn ready!"

When I first heard the news I went through the range of emotions. I laughed, I cried, I cried some more, and then I remembered the great "Reverend Deion" himself. When Sanders played for the 49ers I hated him. What true Cowboys fan didn't? After all, his blatant pass interference against Michael Irvin in the playoffs kept the Cowboys from winning 4 Super Bowls in a row, a feat never accomplished. But I also remembered my room in high school decorated with "Neon Deion" posters, 4 of them to be exact, during his time in Dallas. "Water covers 2/3 of the earth, I cover the rest" one of them proudly boasted. I went to hear him preach, play, and taped all his appearances on t.v. I even believed I was him when I was out on the football field myself in high school (although I was better). Was I sucked into the hype? Did I create some of it myself? What happened?

So after the likes of "Prime Time" now an even cockier individual (also a former 49er) is about to join the likes of "America's Team." His name of course is Terrell "Get yo popcorn ready!" (quote from his Cowboys press-conference) Owens. And although I despise everything about him, or at least I did, I find myself lately being pulled towards the middle. He has been death and destruction everywhere he has gone previously but as my friend in college so eloquently put it "am I going to follow death and destruction just because (in this case) it looks good in a blue and white jersey?" Am I going to be asking my wife for said jersey for my birthday, Christmas, or even Flag Day?

Unfortunately, in this case I may be getting on the band wagon of the "wicked one" himself. While he may suck at rapping (referencing his new rap "I'm Back" in which he states "All you haters said I wasn't gonna get my money, Now I'm laughing in your face, HA HA, that's funny!" - although it does have a catchy beat...) he is great at catching footballs. And isn't that what is important in today's society? Isn't that what we all care about? Does character really matter to anyone anymore when you can add a talent that, while he may divide your locker room, may take you back to the Super Bowl and the pinnacle of the world? In my case I am tired of caring and mostly tired of losing! So in the immortal rapping-words of T.O. I will be there watching and waiting with open arms when he decides he is "gonna get (his) eagle on, meet (him) at the star."

"GET YO POPCORN READY!"

"The Bear"

The Dealership in Austin

In 2005 University of Texas Used Cars (UTUC) had a record setting year. However, critics site that much of the success was due to the performance of one car, a prototype vehicle built by Volkswagon and Yugo, that we will call VY. UTUC had high expectations for VY and they paid off. He was all that they had hoped for. But VY was auctioned off at the latest used car auction as the third car selected and UTUC must find a replacement.

UTUC is known nationally for bringing in an excellent stock of used cars every year but their performance has consistently been below expectations. Leading to question weather or not Mack Brown was able to get the most out of the cars he brought in.

In 2006 Mack Brown insists that the low mileage models he has brought in will be able to replace VY. Brown says “My Mentor, Darrel always says… You gotta dance with who brung ya, well, the guy that brung me left the dance early but don’t worry, I got a couple of real beauties I am going to dance with. Both got low miles and all the bells and whistles, so we plan to use ‘em both.”

Some industry experts question Browns two car approach and site disasters in years past. As recent as 2003 Brown was trying to sell newly acquired VY and a less impressive Chevy Metro we will call Chance. You see Chance had been on the lot for a few years, so Mack thought he should get a shot. Of course, the biggest 2 car debacle Mack has been involved in was when he had just brought in a Cadillac Seville from an old lady in Simmsville and a trusted, reliable old pickup that came from a major applefarm just outside Austin. The old pick-up was called Major and was a favorite on the lot, but Mack picked up that shiny caddy from a guy named Phil in Simmsville and Mack had promised Phil, that his caddy would be to featured car on the UTUC lot. Mack stuck to his guns throughout the year, even when the Cadillac was under performing and Major was over-performing, Mack kept trying to sell the benefits of driving his Cadillac.



UTUC will have a lot of competition from the other 11 regional competitors. Including their annual battle against Bob Stoops of Oklahoma Performance Racing. OPR started slow last year and Mack was able to finish ahead of Stoops for the first time in many years. However, OPR was firing on all cylinders at the end of the year and looks like they could reverse the one year trend. Stoops who is known for bringing in good cars and turning them into great cars says UTUC is all about looks not performance, “UTUC brings in some decent cars and they shine them up, maybe add some spinners, but at OPR we rebuild the engines, the suspension and totally pimp ‘em out. When our cars roll off the lot, the buyers know they are getting an excellent product”

“We got the finest cars money can buy” says Mack. “We keep ‘em in the best garages and we got the biggest lot around. Some of out competitors invest a lot of time into their cars after they arrive, we just throw ‘em out there and hope for the best.”

UTUC will also be going head to head against the new kid on the block, Ron Prince from PowerCars. Prince is taking over the Manhattan based PowerCars from the retiring Bill Snyder. Snyder left a lot full of cars from the previous year and Prince has brought in a few of his own.

Another challenge will be from the CarHuskers. The revamped CarHuskers were a very successful John Deere dealership that had fallen on hard times. So they brought in Wild Bill Callahan to move from the old school mentality to a high performance system. Wild Bill brought in his “West Coast” philosophy last year and has turned the Carhuskers around and has them heading in the right direction.

The bottom line is that Mack Brown is the best used car salesman in the region. However, his competitors do more to make their cars perform at a higher level. And in the end, no matter how good the salesman is or how much you spend on Marketing and PR, the better product will come out on top. Until Mack finds another VY, they will have to settle for second place.

"The Boomer"

The NBA: Hypocrisy at its Finest

Fans of this Blog will know that I have always thought that high school kids should go to college for a couple of years so that they can enjoy “rock star” status around campus, play video games with buddies until 2 a.m. in the morning and allow themselves a couple more years to be kids. I loved my time during my university days and I always just assumed that other kids would value this experience. Why rush going to the League when the game you love will become corrupted by greed?

My opinion on this matter did a complete 180 yesterday when I read a quote on ESPN.com from D League Vice President Michael Curry. Curry told ESPN that the D League would be lowering their age requirement to 19 because, “while we believe that the college game is the best choice for the majority of players coming out of high school, not every player will have the ability or desire to pursue that route. This new rule will now give players the option of playing minor league professional basketball in the United States.”

Are you kidding me?

The NBA is basically telling high school kids that they are willing to create a farm system for them but they aren’t willing to pay them NBA salaries. Other sports like baseball and hockey allow players to be drafted, sign contracts and then play in their minor leagues. Instead of giving the same financial reimbursement to high school kids the NBA has decided to allow them to play for peanuts while they market the D League as the NBA’s farm system. If you realized that college isn’t for some kids then you should have lowered the entry age for the NBA Draft.

What happens if a kid blows out his knee or suffers some other form of career ending knee injury while playing a year in the D League? I’m all for a developmental league as long as players get paid properly for their time there. This season Gerald Green spent some time in the D League and as far as I can tell it was a valuable experience for the kid. He had the security of playing with a contract so if he did sustain an injury he had the peace of mind that he still had a piece of the NBA pie to live comfortably on. If a player like Greg Oden plays a year in the D League or goes to college for a year and blows out his knee his guaranteed millions are now history.

Along those lines, what gives the NBA the right to allow kids to play in their developmental league but not let them play in the real show? If the kids are going to make money for the NBA they should be given the opportunity to enter their name in the draft. I understand that some kids in the past have ruined their chances at NBA careers because they declared for the NBA Draft straight out of high school, but if you going to welcome these same kids into your D League you may as well allow them to enter your Draft.

NBA Commissioner David Stern stated that the Sonics could leave Seattle. Stern told the Associated Press that, “I would say that the city is making it pretty clear of what they want us to do, and we’ll accommodate them. What I mean is they’re not interested in having the NBA there. We understand that, we understand that there are competing issues, and the mayor of Seattle is free to make whatever decisions he needs to make and the people there should support that. But that’s a pretty strong signal and I think that the existing ownership has said they don’t want to own a team that’s not in Seattle, so I know what they’re in the process of doing. So we’ll just see how this play ends.”

This is nothing more than a smoke screen today by Stern to cover up the remarks by Curry. Last summer Stern claimed that he was doing what’s best for young players by making them attend college or prep school for at least a year, yet he gives them a way to make substantially less money by playing in the D League than they could be playing in the NBA. Meanwhile, the NBA comes out golden because they have a stronger product to show on television. By “threatening” that the Sonics could leave Seattle, Stern provides the media with another item to occupy their attention and thus avoid the media firestorm this age issue would have caused. Sonics have known all season long that the current owners want to keep the team in town but they need further money from local government. All Stern did was bring up this topic again so that it would divert the media’s attention away from the hypocritical decision he made by allowing kids to enter the D League right out of high school.

These events do nothing but leave a black eye on the NBA and I’m sad to say that I’m ashamed of the league.


"The Boomer"