Because I Lost A Bet.... Ode To Michigan

I have to write a post on the greatness of Michigan because I lost a bet. I was able to come up with 5 simple observations that to me sum it all up:

1 - Michigan came into Southbend and whooped the Irish, plain and simple. The Irish, coming off a shalacking of Penn State, seemed flat and uninspired. I guess when you own a school so many years in a row you are bound to lose sooner or later.

2 - BQ was too busy day-dreaming about his sister than hitting his receivers which led the Irish to their worst home loss in a while.

3 - This matchup was, is, and always will be the battle of the best 2 fight songs in the nation.

4 - Michigan and Notre Dame are sure to go back and forth on the best winning percentage for many years to come. Especially if Michigan keeps scheduling powerhouses like Central Michigan and Vanderbilt.

5 - Michigan will finish with no less than 2, most likely 3 or 4 losses this year. In fact, watch out for Wisconsin today! They should be able to win and silence the Ann Arbor band-wagoners!

So enjoy being in the top ten for a few more weeks at most, although it will probably only be a few more hours.

With all the sincerity I can muster,

"The Bear"


Macking with Mack

This picture comes our way courtesy of the guys at Deadspin.

Note: This post is not about the University of Texas as I have no problem with them. I just thought I would go out of my way to make that clear so that I don't get crap for it later.

I don't have much to say about this because the picture pretty much says it all. Somewhere in my head I can just hear Tom Cruise saying "Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt..." Maybe they should use this in a D.A.R.E. campaign. After all, if I had seen this on a poster growing up it would have scared the hell out of me.

Keeping kids off drugs,

"The Bear"

Hiring New Interns

I found this picture priceless so I had to post it. The greatness of it lies not in the girl's shirt but instead in the irony of the situation. Her shirt compliments Democrats asking if you have ever heard of a "nice piece of elephant." But honestly, was there ever anyone better at picking out an "elephant" to screw around with than Bill Clinton himself?

Steve Marmel put it best when he said Clinton's dating record is like a Darwin chart. "You start with monkey and you end with monkey," Marmel explained. He also compared Bill Clinton's dating to a little kid with a cracker jack box. He said Bill would "crack open mobile homes to see what the prize was inside." And from the expression on his face in this picture, he may have just found such a prize again (one that apparently finds him sexy). Isn't it finally nice to have a moral President in the White House instead of his predecessor who thought that "foreign affairs" means screwing a woman from out of town?

I read somewhere that Bill Clinton received a 12 million dollar advance for this book. That is a lot of money for a book advance. However, as Jay Leno so adequately put it, "that's not even counting what he's probably getting under the table."

Keeping Texas a "red state,"

"The Bear"

American Apathy

Does anyone else with even half a brain consider it outrageous what the NY Times gets away with printing? The fact that they have leaked top secret information from the government many times without consequence is appalling to me. You have to love how the terrorists can pick up our paper and read our secret plans of stopping their attacks and catching them on the front page! Can we make it anymore blatant? Maybe we should have the NY Times videotape national security's private meetings and then broadcast them on Al Jazeera.

The Bush administration should be having heads roll for these publications. Public opinion be damned! If America is going to be protected we have to remember the old adage "loose lips sink ships." Ann Coulter says it best when she asks, "when is The New York Times going to get around to uncovering an al-Qaida secret program?" Whatever happened to the good old days when we hung people for treason? Or is it not considered treason since its the liberal media attacking the plans of a conservative government.

Unfortunately, the reality here is that to the NY Times as well as many other liberals, it's all about partisan politics. I am to the point where I am never surprised how big of jackasses the liberals are though. Think about it. Do terrorists choose their targets based on which way the states voted in the last election? Of course not! Sean Hannity really brings it all into perspective on his radio show. He says that to the terrorists there are no red states or blue states, no democrats, independents, or republicans, no liberals or conservatives, there are ONLY Americans. And they want us all dead regardless of who we voted for or what race or class we may be. And until the liberals realize that we are on the same team in this war on terror, we are going to be extremely vulnerable. George Bush is in no way perfect but has done one hell of a job keeping us safe so that we can live our lives and debate the trivial. But keep this in mind, the plane that hit the WTC's didn't just have conservatives aboard. And the people inside, they weren't all there for a Rush Limbaugh convention. They were of all backgrounds, beliefs, parties,.... they were all American.

"A George divided against himself cannot stand,"

"The Bear"

Internal Affairs

So the conservatives hate her, the liberals hate her, and now even babies hate her? How is it that people could actually believe that Hillary has a chance to win the election in '08? Is Bill lying to her making her think she can do it or is she just wanting a presidential intern of her own?

Scarred for life after that last thought,

"The Bear"


Touchdown Jesus: Wolverine Tamer

So the big Notre Dame - Michigan weekend is upon us and its time for another Irish spanking of the boys from Ann Arbor. After sending "JoePa" home with such a beating he wishes he had Alzheimer's, I am fully predicting another Big Ten massacre this weekend (and maybe the following against Michigan State as well). I have the final score as this: Notre Dame - 38 Michigan - 3. But I think that score will be much closer than the game on the field.

There are also many other big games this weekend so let's give you a few prediction's for the upcoming action:

LSU over Auburn
Miami over Louisville
Baylor over Washington State
TCU over Texas Tech
Colorado over Arizona State
Clemson over Florida State
Florida over Tennessee
USC over Nebraska

If you bet with these and win money, I expect 15%,

"The Bear"

According to Jim

So the Buckeyes are #1... for now. They convincingly downed the Longhorns 24-7 in the showdown Saturday night. And since it is getting a little late in the summer/fall to celebrate a big victory by going to Disneyland, Ohio State fans decided to celebrate by starting fires and hitting people with cars. The most compelling stats of the evening were not on the field but off it: 35-40 fires set, 17 arrests, and 3 people hit by a car. All they needed was Maurice Clarett to join in by supplying the vodka and firing shots into the sky and it could have been the best party ever.

I am not sure if coach Jim Tressel joined in the fun when he returned from Austin after the game. However, rumor has it that when speaking to reporters following their complete shalacking of Texas he told them that he had just voted in this week's USA TODAY Coaches' Poll and he has decided to "once again" put the Longhorns as the #1 team in the nation. I wonder if USA TODAY is going to have any comment...

"Fool me once.....,"

"The Bear"

The Verdict: Five For Fighting

5 Years Later, the San Francisco Examiner's reaction the day after still puts it best...

"The Bear"


Assimilating Teddy

I saw this shirt online and I thought it was not only hilarious but also very appropriate. The idea mentioned, while most liberals would consider it "hate speech," is actually not a message of hate but of acceptance and tolerance. The goal is not racism but is becoming one nation under God. It invites others into our culture in the hopes that they will assimilate to it and become one strong family of Americans. Theodore Roosevelt puts it best:

"In the first place we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the man's becoming in very fact an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag, and this excludes the red flag, which symbolizes all wars against liberty and civilization, just as much as it excludes any foreign flag of a nation to which we are hostile...We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people." - Theodore Roosevelt

What a great message and yet it is so sad to see how far we have strayed from those simple principles. Immigration does not unite America into a stronger "melting pot" because there is not "melting" taking place. Just a bunch of individuals who insist on living their own way with their own culture while having all the benefits (enter welfare) of being an American. The goal is not unity but division and as long as the liberals support it (who ironically are also all about division) and block the conservatives from making any progress on the issue, the debate will rage on with no end in sight.

It seems like the best idea the liberals came up with is from Bill Maher. In his book, "Does Anybody Have a Problem With That?", Maher suggests giving the illegals New Mexico because, after all, it already has the words Mexico in it. While most conservatives, including myself, think of Bill as an idiotic SOB, that idea might just have to work if things keep going at the rate they are now. Or we could just go with the many Republican plans that call for immediate action and all for the most part seem pretty good. But for the love of God, let's do something about it!

Also, If you like that t-shirt above (a design by KLIF's Greg Knapp), you can order it from this link:

Here is hoping for newer and better ideas,

"The Bear"

Wanna be like Mike?

So what do you do when you go out and spend a lot of money on the most accurate kicker in NFL history only to have him go 1-3 in his preseason debut from a distance that my 10 year old nephew could hit from? I know what to do and I want to see if the Cowboys have the guts to do it: Cut him. He missed most of the preseason with an injury and if you let him go now before the season starts all you will be out is his signing bonus. There is a reason the Colts were willing to let him go (other than his cat-fights with Peyton Manning) and the Cowboys should have been wise to that. I am proud of them making an effort to boost the kicking game but isn't there anyone else they can sign other than someone who has learned how to be a loser from Peyton himself? If not, for the raise T.O. got in coming to Dallas maybe we should let him kick instead. After all, he loves being the center of attention. And we have "our popcorn ready" for the show.

"Liquored up kickers" can't hit field goals in Dallas either,

"The Bear"


Kyra Phillips: We know you all too well....

For those of you who have not heard yet, while President Bush was doing his Katrina speech, CNN news anchor Kyra Phillips was adding her own harmony to the piece. Apparently someone left her mic open while she was having a conversation with another woman in the CNN restroom and it was broadcast over President Bush's speech. While Phillips complimented her husband, her sister-in-law didn't end up so lucky. Below is an actual transcript of the above video attained from

Kyra Phillips: "assholes Yeah, I'm very lucky in that regard with my husband. My husband is handsome and he is genuinely a loving, you know, no ego[unintelligible] you know what I'm saying. Just a really passionate, compassionate great, great human being. And they exist. They do exist. They are hard to find. Yup. But they are out there."

[unidentified woman]: We'll see. He's going to come, you know, he's set for an extended visit[unintelligible]"

Phillips: "I mean, that's, that's how you figure it all out, those extended visits. [laughter]"

[unidentified woman]: "Yeah, but my mom, I think she really likes him."

Phillips: "Mom's got a good vibe? Good."

[unidentified woman]: "Yeah, my brother's the one that[unintelligible]"

Phillips: "Brother of course, brothers have to be, you know, protective. Except for mine. I've got to be protective of him."

[unidentified woman unintelligible]

Phillips: "Yeah. He's married, three kids, but his wife is just a control freak."

[unidentified woman #2]: "Kyra."

Phillips: "Yeah, baby?"

[unidentified woman #2]: "Your mic is on. Turn it off. It's been on the air."

Seconds later, Daryn Kagan stumbled through this awkward transition:

Daryn Kagan: "Alright, we've been listening in to President Bush as he speaks in, uh, New Orleans today. This is the one year anniversary of Katrina making land shore there. President Bush saying if another natural disaster hits, our country we must, uh, react better than that. Let's listen in once again to President Bush."

And as great as this mistake was, this wasn't the first time Kyra has been involved in a CNN snafu. Thanks to we are also reminded of another mishap:

Kyra Phillips: "Now, I've seen Michael Bolton sitting behind the President. Obviously not now, we're looking at different live pictures. Are we going to hear from him? Or have we heard from him?"

Richard Roth: "Well, you may -- you're not going to hear him sing. I think you said Michael Bolton, John Bolton the US ambassador-"

Phillips (embarrassed): "John Bolton. Richard, thank you so much. You're taking me back now to, what, the early '80s? My goodness."

Roth: "Yes, and this ambassador has much shorter hair."

Phillips: "And no relation, right? Maybe we should make that clear."

Roth: "No relation. Though some of his remarks has -- have caused some hair-raising reaction from advocates for some groups...."

Wow! CNN must be really holding their head high today. I mean, who wouldn't be? Especially after this current reporting masterpiece that makes all of us want to grow up to be news anchors. I know I do! But Kyra, I think it would be fair at this point to offer you a bit of advice. A lot of people don't like thier in-laws and that's fine... But I really wouldn't recommend broadcasting it on national television if you can help it. It may not improve the situation as much as you had hoped.

Having reporting excellence flashbacks of Lisa Guerrero on MNF,

"The Bear"